the one thing i am learning:
is that patience is something to be in envy of.
it teaches us things.
it molds us.
it's a gift.
and by goodness is it ever hard !!

to sit and wait, and long for a specific answer that you want to hear, to tickle your ear.  no, that isn't how it works.  especially when you are seeking an answer from Jesus.  i don't know why it is done this way.  but i know it must.

because it cultivates something inside of you.  this waiting.  it's learning how to find the beauty in time.  how to really let your wants and desires be hung up on this line.  to let the goodness of all things fall into place, and that way when, your answer is given to you;  you can see each second was forming these minutes that ended in the grand, and most perfect time.  it's really hard to grasp.  but i am learning that my time for things doesn't really exist, it's God's timing.  and how sweet it is, knowing that  i  didn't manipulate it.  i waited.  i prayed.  i wondered, and then i said

"oh, that's why it took so long !!"

i get it.  i am sorry Lord.  for not trusting.  
because that is exactly what being patience is...
trust!