laying down to raise them up

how many times have i laid down something to raise them up?
my girls.
my blessings,
my treasures.

i have said no to so much when all i have wanted is to desperately say yes!

to school.
to clothes.
to weekend get away with kindred friends.
to art, and the making of something to nurture my soul.
to extra income.
to extra things.

and how does saying no hurt, but also set you free?  free to focus on what you are saying yes to.  how each opportunity molds my no's to raise them high.  when i say no, i see more clear.  the little humans so close to my heart, and my hip that i look for them like a crazy fool in the grocery store, fearing they are lost.  but no, like the sunglasses that sit atop my head, there she is on my hip, white haired curls and all.

i sigh.  my answer is always in front of me.  always with me, sitting on my hip.
i say no to raise them high, to show them a different way to raise theirs.  it's ok, if you don't have it all, i whisper to them.  having it all gives you nothing.  you don't search for anything....
don't be afraid of being hungry, and looking for something to feed your soul.  only then can you come alive in the search, and dream when you are full.

so i tell them.  over and over again.