my previous post, is odd in the timing of this post.  i find it eery, and also comforting.  in the way that even though we don't know the future, we have these thoughts that help us form the next days.  i guess that's the holy spirit, in it's best.  working with our hearts, an ever present whisper that what we are feeling isn't strange, but a way to prepare.

a note to grandma, who passed the day after mother's day.

to my granma janice wahlstrom:
when i am sad, and lonely for you, which will no doubt be often, and every CA trip that will be ventured, every Christmas, and when i think of my childhood, i will reflect on these things.  these are memories that have brought so much joy to my heart.  YOU brought joy to my life in only ways that a grandmother can.  it's magical the way you would make me feel.  so extra special, just for being ME.  in no particular order:

the way you would grocery shop with my brothers and i, buying all sorts of treats, cereals, pop tarts, fruit snacks, ice cream, and popsicles that mom would never let us have.

the hand holding, your thumb would always rub mine, back and forth, and you would talk about a memory of yours, your nails always painted that mauve color, never chipped, only perfect.

on sundays at church when i found the service boring, and would begin to fidget, you would open your purse and let me choose a treat....the choices, not always the same, were altoids, gum, and mentos....it was nice to suck and chomp on the candy, and this treat would always held me over to refreshment time in the church patio.

i loved it when you took me shopping.  a whole outfit head to toe.  and you would always so seriously, "two bottoms for every top and two tops for every bottom."  that was exactly how my bags left the store.

we made bread together one spring, and you sent me home with some yeast.  that was when eva was a babe, i still have the tupperware!

EASTMAN SUPPLIES, they were like gold to me.  i loved when you would send me a package, a true and wonderful sight for a crafter's eye to see. {picture angels singing when said box is opened}

one time you took me shoe shopping and i desperately wanted the shoes that lit up with every step i would take.  i knew i would instantly be popular the following monday at school.  but no, you didn't like those ones, so i had to settle for KEDS.   you were my only hope for the light up lightning shoes.  i thought you kinda let me down, but now looking back you words are loud and clear to this 30 year old...."you always need good shoes, it's important to keep your feet comfy."  how true that is.

let's see, of course i loved your jewelry box, i am your son's daughter!  i know i looked often in that box, and you would explain each piece.  picking up the jewelry ever so carefully,  "your grandpa gave me this piece, and your grandpa gave me that piece, and....."

oh!  i also remember the time i discovered all your expensive scarfs.  that was really fun, while i ignored my girls' demands for a hot minute, you gave me a quick summary of each one.  who gave them to you, and how YOU would wear them, we sat at the edge of your bed admiring these silky beauties and flipping the pages of the "how to" book on the appropriate way to wear them.

i tried on your wedding dress one time, long ago on a hot summer california day.  i still remember the way the air smelled.

these really are a just a few things.   i am hoping my heart will heal a little with these memories written out, give a voice.  did you know that freja sunshine, is sunshine in part because of your love for the song "you are my sunshine" ?  i hope i can pass that fun song down to my girls with all the other great, warm, and heartfelt things you blessed me with.

until heave granma, i will visit granpa as often as i can, i know you wouldn't want him to be lonely and sad.  and i will cry for you the rest of my earthly life.  i feel so blessed to call you mine.  my granma!

and then there's this: